I Love Him
by azqwest
Summary: A Meredith and Rose 4.14 one-shot. Meredith was thankful for the empty elevator. And then came Rose.


(This is a little ditty that took root in the back of my brain and I had to put it down on paper. I do not own GA nor it's characters.)

Thank God.

It was empty.

Meredith stepped inside the elevator and punched the button before taking a position against the back wall. Resting against the cool surface, Meredith's head tilted back. Trying her best to block images of Derek from her mind, images of him standing in the same spot. Dark blue scrubs. White lab coat. Hair a little mussed, freed from hours trapped under his scrub cap. She never did ask him about the missing trout cap. He had taken to wearing sailboats. Kind of fitting, given how he had sailed out of her life. Exhaling, she emptied her mind of any and all thoughts of him.

Exhaustion prevented her from caring as the elevator halted, and the doors slid open. Soft-soled shoes squeaking against the marble tiles announced the violation of her solitude. It had been wishful thinking the ride to the first floor could be made in peace. Who ever it was, hopefully they'd note her closed eyelids and take the hint not to open their mouth.

Who ever it was, it wasn't Derek. Definitely not his scent. She wasn't sure if she was disappointed or relieved. So, she went with relieved. Without him, she could stop thinking about his tongue. No thinking about it sliding against hers. Or tracing her bottom lip. He's with Rose. She had to remember her reality. Damn it. She exhaled again, harder this time. When she inhaled, the trace remains of a feminine scent filled her nostrils. She couldn't place it. Something...sweet?

"I love him." The voice wavered.

Shit.

Not her. Not now.

Fuck.

Couldn't this damn thing move any faster?

"I love him." No waver this time. Her voice gained confidence in repeating those three words.

Silence was her best option. Her only option. Derek had found someone who made him happy. The two of them strolled the halls of Seattle Grace, hand-in-hand, smiling and kissing. His tongue belonged to her now. To Rose. She loved him, and made Derek smile. She was happy for him. For them. She truly was. Happy.

"I really do love him"

Please, please, can't someone make this freaking machine move any faster? Will jumping up and down do the trick? "Ok." What else could she say? Please send me an invitation to the wedding?

"I hope you understand."

Forced to open her eyes, she saw the dark brown hair and pink scrubs. Thankfully, Rose remained facing the front. She couldn't take the doe eyes right now. "I do...understand."

"I make him happy."

And I didn't. Like I don't know that? She didn't make her mother happy. She didn't make Thatcher happy. And she certainly didn't make Derek happy.

"I'm not the rebound."

The act of sighing truly hurt. It tried to loosen up the tightness seeping into her chest. Her breaths grew shallow. Rapid. "I never said you were."

"I came after the rebound. We're gonna make it."

"I hope you do." The R-word fell to the ground between them. She wasn't touching it with a 10-foot pole or blade. Focusing her attention on the floor indicator above the metal doors. One more floor to go. She begged the stupid light to move faster.

"Do you?" Rose turned around. "Really?"

"Really." Keeping her attention above the doors, she was proud of her strong, confident reply. Her knotted insides and reduced breathing capability were none of Rose's business. "I want him to be happy."

"He is."

As the elevator finally landed on the first floor, the urge to kneel and kiss the cold marble floor tiles barely too strong to ignore. Rose pivoted, the sound of her white sneakers rubbing against the smooth floor fading as she walked out. She didn't know what it would to take to make it stop echoing in her ears. His tongue and her shoes. Damn it. Her watch confirmed she had 15 minutes before the young soldier received his virus injections. 15 minutes before she had to stand next to Derek, with his Rose-induced happiness, and work in tandem with him, slowly filling a man's brain with a tumor-snuffing virus while Rose's voice packed hers in a similar capacity.

She still had time for a cup of coffee.


End file.
